14 Jun Why a “Declared Client” Disappears & How Our “Attraction Factor” is the Remedy
{3:21 minutes to read} In my 20 years of coaching and training, here’s what I’ve found to be at the heart of success in the art of referral generation: our Attraction Factor — the degree to which people feel inspired and connected to who we are as human beings. The most influential dynamic in having people feel drawn to us is our ability to be vulnerable, authentic, empathetic, and compassionate.
As a business owner, your ability to show empathy and compassion comes into play when a potential client seems to disappear, somewhat like becoming a member of the “witness protection program.” Let’s take Jane, for example. Jane has 10 prospects enter the top of her sales funnel. Of these 10 whom she contacts:
- 7 say they’re interested in talking further;
- 5 say they want to meet with her;
- 4 actually meet with her;
- 3 are excited to do business with her; and
- 2 promise her they’re bringing in the check.
Jane, being a professional, knows that when 2 people declare their commitment to be a client (aka, bringing in the check), one of those 2 “Declared Clients” will deliver and become a client while the other will disappear into the “witness protection program.”
At the source of this disappearing act is shame. Shame is a big force; simply look up any of Brené Brown’s work (in particular her TED Talk on vulnerability). Shame has people hide. What happened with that “Declared Client” who then disappeared is this: He gave Jane his word, then broke his word, and didn’t know how to confront Jane to clean it up.
Here’s what lies at the source of this shame:
When a prospect declares his commitment to come on board with Jane, he is doing so because a deeply important personal or professional goal is met by working with her. Therefore, when he bails on Jane, who is he really bailing on? Himself. And that makes Jane un-confrontable. So he goes into hiding.
Perhaps the “Disappearing Declared Client” had a change of heart, budget restraint, or another issue that no longer allows him to come on board as a client. Jane, standing in a place of compassion, can then forgive and allow the potential client to know they are forgiven.
There’s nothing more amazing than sending a little message to someone who’s disappeared, and saying something like: “Hey Robert! It’s Jane! I didn’t hear back from you, so I wanted you to know that I’m just checking in to find out if there was an emergency or if you had a change of heart about coming on board with me. Either way, I want to keep the door open, as I value our connection and hope we can still collaborate or support each other in some way. I hope all is well!”
If we let “Disappearing Declared Clients” know that we forgive them, they have the opportunity to forgive themselves. This can heal the break in the connection and opens the door for possibly doing business together, or at least being an advocate of good for us.
In our society, we’re not trained on how to be “in forgiveness.” The idea of being vulnerable with a potential client blows people away by showing them who we are. We’re authentic; we embrace and honor their humanity, and we express compassion and forgiveness. These are the most attractive dynamics in business today. And if winning over another’s trust is paramount to your success, then these dynamics are also the most profitable.
Cynthia Greenawalt
954-214-2511
cynthia@seachangenetworking.com
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